Celebration
If this looks delicious to you, call 911. You need medical attention.
She said her job would be to pick the worst flavors and she delivered. Beth, you’ve done it again.
Notice anything different? I haven’t changed the colors or the layout of the blog, no that’s not it. It’s the absence of something. A photo of me and my friend and our happy faces enjoying cheesecake. We couldn’t get that photo this time, readers. Because this slice ate balls.
Avid readers know that after Beth chose Salted Caramel, a flavor that has steadily maintained the last spot in the ranking for months, she declared that she would be attempting to choose the worst flavors from the menu to keep her streak going and see if she could outdo herself.
We’ve taken several weeks off of our Tuesday $5 AMC movie night ritual because life gets busy and there were nothing but bad movies out for a while, probably because it was Oscars season. But we had to return for Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret. Beth and I are Babysitter’s Club stans. We remote watched the recent BSC Netflix series together which, if you haven’t seen it, you should. For a while I was reading the books out loud to Beth. By the pool, on long drives, in bed the night before she got married. It’s not the same as AYTGIMM but the vibe is very much the same. It was an adorable and wholesome movie and we both cried at the end, Beth more than me. But I’m skipping ahead.
Back to The Factory. Beth narrowed it down to three terrible sounding slices. She asked for my input but I am very firm about swaying my guest. I don’t want to do it. I’m going to eat all these damn cheesecakes all of damn 2023 so it should really be up to them. I did ask her some guiding questions though. What is the vibe of the night? The vibe of the movie? What makes sense for us to eat right now? So she chose Celebration.
It was an apt choice. The movie is a celebration of becoming a woman. Beth and I were celebrating our return to ritual, and our decades long friendship. In fact, on the car ride home, Beth gave a genuine and touching speech about how grateful she is for us being together at this time in our lives: happy, stable, living so close and getting to connect regularly. I thought it was very sweet until I realized she probably just said it for the blog. OF COURSE I’m kidding. I feel the same way. We are so lucky.
This is my first reaction to the slice, along with some of the Grove ambiance.
I need to describe what was in this slice because it was TOO MUCH and CONFUSING. There are many layers. Vanilla cake, cheesecake, strawberry chocolate and vanilla mousse, and cream cheese frosting. Oh, and those nasty fucking sprinkles. I had to pull the info from their website because in person, the layers were quite baffling. Beth asked, more than once, “What the hell is that part?”. She wiped off a lot of the cream cheese frosting. I wanted to taste more cheesecake. It really just tasted sweet and only sweet. The back had some crumblies on it that we liked but weren’t able to identify. Beth tapped out before I did and I can’t say why I kept eating it.
I think this flavor is for babies. There, I said it. It has both pink (strawberry mousse) and blue (vanilla mousse) layers in it which we considered might be TCF’s attempt at gender neutrality. I’m pretty sure that’s what the title means. It’s a celebration of queerness. Maybe it’s also for Pride. If that’s the case, I’m offended it tastes so bad.
I will say it didn’t make me feel sick like the Salted Caramel slice did. And for that reason, it isn’t in last place but in second to last place.
Celebration: 2.2 out of 5
Mango Key Lime
Pineapple Upside Down Cake
White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle
The Original
Cinnabon Cinnamon Swirl
Very Cherry Ghirardelli Chocolate
Tiramisu
Celebration
Salted Caramel
Beth, you done did it. I’m actually proud of you and I think what you’re doing is brave. I don’t think just anyone could do it like you’re doing it. You’re also the first repeat guest on the blog. Inspiring.
Another flavor I noticed TCF doesn’t have: pistachio.
Oh and an old lady in a bedazzled baseball cap came up to Beth before the movie started and asked her if the movie had started yet. While the lights were fully on. We were so high on sugar we might have hallucinated her.
Until next time. Take care of yourselves and each other.