Uncle Tetsu
I will never get over how beautiful we are
Sivan is the only person who was at both my ex boyfriend’s and my stepdad’s funeral.
We’ve been friends since I was 20 and she was 21. And now we’re basically 40, though when we ate out for breakfast the server carded her and told her she looked 26. I agree. But also, this is what 40 looks like and in that way, Sivan does look 40. I know that’s annoying to say but I said it anyway.
Sivan came to stay with me over Passover/Easter weekend and she is a very chill houseguest. She keeps a small carbon footprint. She wanted to eat the same thing we ate last time she was here (kimchi fried rice) and shop at the same places (Shibuyala and Daiso). She brought Scoop a new chew toy shaped like a bone and she gifted me some stationary with cherries on it. The best thing we did was visit a Korean spa at night. In 20 years of friendship we had never been naked together even though we’re both horny bisexuals. It just never came up!
The other thing Sivan wanted to do was eat cheesecake with me so she could get on the blog and I could let everyone know that she was at both funerals. We decided to go to the new cheesecake store behind my building (Uncle Tetsu) instead of The Factory because Japanese cheesecake doesn’t have crust and it was Passover. I didn’t consider that there is flour in probably all the cheesecakes so it didn’t matter where we went. I don’t think Sivan cared either way.
So we walked to Uncle Tetsu and right away I notice the smell. I worked in a bakery for three years so I’m no stranger to a deliciously scented workplace. But whatever Uncle Tetsu is doing odor-wise is far beyond what we did at Magnolia Bakery. I had to do so many sniffs I felt like my dog Scoop on a long walk around the neighborhood.
The cashier was adorable, he told us his favorite flavor was strawberry. That was the one flavor Sivan said she didn’t want so we ordered ube and chocolate. We got dinner and ate outside where everyone stopped to pet Scoop. I mean everyone. Two servers and almost every single passerby. One woman told me that he reminded her of her dead dog, Cookie, who she did not name herself.
Side note about Scoop: When Sivan said her goodbyes at the end of the trip, she told Scoop that he has a beautiful spirit because she is a strengths-based therapist.
After dinner we went to Shibuyala, a Japanese beauty supply store, so Sivan could shop. They closed in ten minutes so they did have to hurry us out but Sivan still managed to get quite a lot and spend about $50. I hope it’s okay to out her as a Shibuyala-sexual.
THESE ARE ALL IMPORTANT DETAILS.
We go home and get in pajamas and turn on my neon pink light so we can get in bed with the cheesecakes.
That’s why these look so pink. They’re actually purple and brown. Look at the little Uncle Tetsu stamp with Easter eggs surrounding him! So cheesecake.
Okay real-time break for a second here. I just googled “cheesecake adjective” because I had a feeling that the word ‘cheesecake’ can be an adjective. And what I found is that in the 1660s in Britain, the term ‘cheesecake’ was used to describe “overly sexy or promiscuous women”. I am a cheesecake! It’s confirmed.
Back to Uncle Tetsu. They were both delicious. They’re very different types of cheesecake than what you’re gonna get at The Factory. It’s lighter, it’s not as sweet, more like a souffle in texture. And there’s no crust! I preferred the chocolate, Sivan preferred the ube. It’s true that the ube flavor tasted more cheesy and was slightly thicker. There’s no denying that. I shared some with my gf Karen (heart heart heart love love love) and Mark and they both preferred the ube as well. Color-wise, I agree.
That’s a brilliant purple. Also, I love how we ate it in this kind of psychotic (non-derogatory) way. No time to slice, just digging in from the side.
A couple more things about Sivan that I must mention. When Kenny my ex boyfriend died, she gave me a Glo Worm swaddled in a baby blanket. She likes to eat peanut butter when she’s at my house because her daughter is severely allergic to peanuts so she can only have it when she’s far away from home. She has a killer bod. She does play therapy with kids and knows things like giraffes=hypervigilance. She’s a very good cook and we love talking about trauma together, deep into the night.
I’m not going to rank these with the Cheesecake Factory slices. That wouldn’t make sense. But they can get a rating, why not. Doesn’t hurt.
Ube: 4 out of 5
Chocolate: 3 out of 5
I know I’ve got to go back to The Factory soon. I know. If you’d like to eat a slice of cheesecake with me, for any reason, please reach out.