Cookie Dough Lover's with Pecans
For once I’m not at The Grove.
What if, instead of having fun writing this blog, I wrote it while PMSing?
I am cranky af and sore in my boobs and hungry but not knowing what to eat after I just finished a handful of chocolate covered gummy bears. Let’s get this shit over with.
For this post, it’s gonna be helpful if you know something about enneagrams because that’s a theme here with this cheesecake outing. My friend Lincoln (see above) and I talked a lot about enneagram types on our visit to The Factory. I decided that I am a 9 which is The Peacemaker (easy-going, receptive, agreeable, wants harmony, avoids tension) and Lincoln is a 5 which is The Investigator (intense, cerebral, innovative, wants to possess knowledge). The Big Lebowski and Abraham Lincoln are both 9s; David Fincher and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo are 5s. So how could we ever get along? you’re asking yourself right now. Somehow we make it work, me and Lincoln. I’m getting a lot of my enneagram details here by the way if you want to follow along.
Lincoln and I went to the same training site (SCCC) and were in the same supervision group. Lincoln is tall and one of two of my friends on Letterboxd, an app where you rate and review movies. So I get to stay current on all the movies Lincoln watches and how he liked them. He also introduced me to DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy if you don’t know). He wanted to start a DBT group and I don’t remember how but I signed on to do it with him. We did one session together and then the pandemic started. Well actually I think he left SCCC first and then the pandemic started. I love making Lincoln laugh because, as a 5, he doesn’t depend on social validation so when he laughs you know you really said something funny. We are both former ice cream scoopers: he worked at Van Leeuwen’s, I worked at McConnell’s, and we both ruined our shoulders and wrists.
We met at the Pasadena Cheesecake Factory and I made sure to try to get their sign in our photo but I found it really hard to get the right angle (see above). I downloaded Lincoln on the rules of My Cheesecake Year and then helped him pick a salad. He went with the Santa Fe because he had just been to Santa Fe and it is one of Jo’s (Adam’s Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple) recommended salads. He told me his 16 year old niece really likes cheesecake and requests it every birthday which is just what I was like when I was her age. I was like “where’s this niece?? let’s invite her!” but we didn’t. Lincoln was trying to decide between the Pumpkin and the Cookie Dough Lover’s with Pecans because they are both being heavily advertised right now at TCF. I really thought he was gonna choose Pumpkin because it was drizzling outside and felt like fall. But the ad for the Cookie Dough Lover’s was on the back of the menu and I think after staring at it all throughout his Santa Fe salad he changed his mind. Marketing works!
AND, because he’s a 5, he’s ”not interested in exploring what is already familiar and well-established; rather, [his] attention is drawn to the unusual, the overlooked, the secret, the occult, the bizarre, the fantastic, the unthinkable”. This freakish cheesecake flavor is actually the perfect slice for a 5.
Was it the perfect slice for this 9? I wouldn’t say perfect. I was a little scared to try it, though I didn’t say that to Lincoln because “being an individual who asserts herself against others is terrifying” to a 9. But also because of the rules! I never pick the flavor because I’m going to eat all of them anyway!! And isn’t that just the kind of rule a 9 would come up with?
The slice wasn’t as scary as I imagined it would be when I read that it’s topped with “cookie dough frosting”. The bottom layer is chocolate chip pecan cookie dough and it was very hard to fork through. The middle layer was of course the titular cheesecake. They added some whipped cream rosettes and a very 80s chocolate back-and-forth to the plate.
Oh and the copy on the ads for this flavor say “Back and Batter Than Ever”. So this is a return flavor! People like it!! Lincoln said it reminded him of a Pazookie and I would agree. He also compared it to Ben & Jerry’s in terms of the texture, and I agree again. Man, I really do value harmony.
We left a couple of bites on the plate in the end. It’s a good flavor but very rich. Obviously. I’m glad Lincoln picked it because he ended up liking it and it’s a very TCF kind of flavor so he got a real TCF experience. He had the idea that I should eat an Original slice along with every new slice I try, as a control variable. Imagine eating double the amount of cheesecake I’ve already eaten. I can’t. I had the idea (while high) that I should market myself as The Dumb Therapist and work with my clients to devalue knowing stuff and Lincoln understood and actually thought that could be a good idea. But I think I have to think more about it the next time I’m stoned.
Cookie Dough Lover’s with Pecans: 2.5 out of 5
Lemon Meringue
Mango Key Lime
Lemon Raspberry Cream
Pineapple Upside Down Cake
White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle
The Original
Adam’s Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple
Classic Basque
Chocolate Caramelicious Made With Snickers
Cinnabon Cinnamon Swirl
Very Cherry Ghirardelli Chocolate
Fresh Banana Cream
Godiva Chocolate
Ultimate Red Velvet Cake
Fresh Strawberry
Vanilla Bean
Cookie Dough Lover’s with Pecans
Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake
Toasted Marshmallow S’Mores Galore
Tiramisu
Celebration
Salted Caramel
Lincoln showed me his therapy office afterwards because we were within walking distance to it. It was so light, cozy, comforting, and inspiring. I want an office within walking distance to a Cheesecake Factory!! I could market myself as The Cheesecake Factory Therapist. Use the menu to help clients increase their decision making skills. Prescribe them slices of cheesecake depending on their issue. Processing a break up? Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake. Healing from an old attachment wound? Mango Key Lime. Grieving the loss of a child? Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Suicidal? Lemon Meringue, obviously.
Well I’m still PMSing. In fact it might be worse now than when I started. Can you tell in the writing that the author was struggling with PMS? No you probably can’t. Because women’s pain is often invisible.