Lemon Raspberry Cream & Vanilla Bean
Two bitches + two dogs + one factory
AMC won’t let me bring Scoop in but TCF will and did.
Scoop’s first time at a Cheesecake Factory! And it was with his best friend Taro (pictured). My best friend (also pictured) Jamie invited me out for a day around 3rd Street, starting at Lisa Vanderpump’s dog store, Vanderpump Dogs. Jamie watches Vanderpump Rules, I watch RHOBH and yet somehow, we make it work, despite having very different views on Lisa and Ken. Jamie bought Taro an Austin Powers costume and I got Scoop some new poop bags and a piece of stale beef jerky (his pick). Should Scoop get a Fembot costume and join Taro this Halloween? Jamie and I could be Dr Evil and Mini Me.
We know Scoop and Taro are besties because when they saw each other they did a big excited run and sniff and were so happy. They’ve come a long way. The first time they met, Taro came over and was all up in Scoop’s bed and sniffing his stuff and when he left, Scoop felt really despondent. He wouldn’t walk or eat. He threw up several times. I took him to the vet the next day and she posited that Taro “said something” to Scoop that upset him. Whatever it was, they’ve since decided to move on. Let the past stay in the past. I wish Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga would do the same, for the sake of the family.
Jamie’s like my family. She’s basically my sister. She is one of two friends who was super interested in my sinus surgery and the aftermath. She wanted to see all the grossest pictures of my blood clots and the spacers they took out after a week. But she hates the feel of velvet, go fig. She showed up to Vanderpump Dogs looking so gorgina. I was a little on edge because this woman in a Porsche had just honked at me, called me a bitch, and flipped me off because I parked in front of her. She wanted me to wait to park until she had pulled out of her spot even though she had plenty of room and it was a busy ass street. If Jamie had been with me, she would have fought her, I just know it. I ignored her and paid the meter and thought of good comebacks afterward like “pretend it’s a city, bitch!”.
After VDP Dogs I drove us to Scent Bar where we smelled many good smelling perfumes. This old ass dude was hitting on Jamie by asking her if she was going to spray perfume on her dog and she was like “haha no I’m not going to do that”. She said later that he should have paid her for that interaction and I agree. Pay my friend if you’re going to talk to her about literally anything. I ended up purchasing a perfume that my other friend (I have a lot of friends) Danielle got me a sample of for my birthday. The fragrance notes include something called “cheesecake accord”, vanilla, strawberry, and whipped cream. Naturally I have to own this. Jamie took home a sample too. She wears perfume to bed. My queen.
Jamie insisted we get two slices of cheesecake this trip. She really pushes me to be my best self. She believes in me that I can finish all the flavors by the end of the year. I’m at 20 now and there are 33 total. She told me that she doesn’t get notifications when I post a new blog, even though she entered in her email (it works now, go ahead and enter your email at the bottom if you want). Everyone should have a friend like Jamie. She treats me right, she gives me what I need. She’s honest with me. And she chose two delicious flavors: Lemon Raspberry Cream and Vanilla Bean.
The Vanilla Bean is pretty creamy and also pretty sweet. Ya really gotta like the flavor vanilla to enjoy this one. I’ll say it was a good palette cleanser. The Lemon Raspberry Cream was the fucking star of this show. I loved it so much. It’s almost a perfect slice. The raspberry sauce on top mamma mia poppa pia. It was so tart. I would absolutely get this one again. And Jamie knew I would love it. Weeks ago she said “I want to be there when you try the Lemon Raspberry Cream”. God it was delicious.
We also let our sweet good boys in on the treats.
Look at Scoop standing up to get his whipped cream. These boys! They’re so precious. We will be their best friends for their entire lives.
Lemon Raspberry Cream: 4.5 out of 5
Vanilla Bean: 2.5 out of 5
Lemon Meringue
Mango Key Lime
Lemon Raspberry Cream
Pineapple Upside Down Cake
White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle
The Original
Classic Basque
Chocolate Caramelicious Made With Snickers
Cinnabon Cinnamon Swirl
Very Cherry Ghirardelli Chocolate
Fresh Banana Cream
Godiva Chocolate
Ultimate Red Velvet Cake
Fresh Strawberry
Vanilla Bean
Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake
Toasted Marshmallow S’Mores Galore
Tiramisu
Celebration
Salted Caramel
I thought about making new merch but I don’t have much inspiration. I considered doing something for 9/11 but I didn’t have any solid ideas. I thought I might like to buy a TCF employee hat on eBay but I did just purchase that cheesecake perfume. I’m in my indecisive era.
One thing I’m into right now is AI. I edited a few photos to make my boobs gigantic. They’re funny. And I put my blog posts into Chat GPT and asked it to rewrite them for me. It’s kinda crazy. If you’re interested you can read the version of this post that Chat GPT came up with below. Which do you prefer?
A Day of Canine Capers and Cheesecake Delights
by Chat GPT
In a city bustling with life, where the aroma of adventure hangs in the air, there's no better way to spend a day than with your two best friends, two furry companions, and a delectable slice of cheesecake. Join me on this tale of a day filled with laughs, canine camaraderie, and sweet indulgence.
Puppy Playdate at the Cheesecake Factory
The day began with excitement as my best friend Jamie and I embarked on an adventure around 3rd Street. Our mission: to indulge in the simple joys of life, starting with a visit to Lisa Vanderpump's famous dog store, Vanderpump Dogs. Now, Jamie is an avid watcher of "Vanderpump Rules," while I'm more of a "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" enthusiast. Our differing views on Lisa and Ken could rival those of any reality TV show, but our friendship thrives despite the divide.
As Jamie spoiled Taro with an Austin Powers costume, I opted for practicality with new poop bags and a piece of stale beef jerky for Scoop (a treat he inexplicably adores). The big question of the day arose: Should Scoop join Taro in a Fembot costume this Halloween? The idea of Jamie and me dressed as Dr. Evil and Mini Me while our furry companions embrace their inner Austin Powers characters was too amusing to pass up.
Best Friends Reunited
The highlight of the day, however, was the reunion of Scoop and Taro. Their enthusiastic run, sniff, and joyful antics upon seeing each other reminded us why they're besties. It's remarkable how far they've come since their first meeting, during which Taro's intrusion into Scoop's personal space left him despondent. He wouldn't walk or eat, and even threw up several times. It was as if Taro had delivered some secret message that had deeply upset Scoop. Fortunately, they've since moved past this initial hiccup, leaving the past behind, unlike some reality TV personalities we know.
Jamie: A Friend Like No Other
Jamie is more than just a friend; she's practically family. She's one of the few friends who genuinely cared about the details of my sinus surgery, from the blood clots to the spacers they removed. Her intrigue, however, is juxtaposed with her dislike for the feel of velvet – a curious quirk, indeed. As we entered Vanderpump Dogs, my nerves were on edge due to an encounter with a Porsche-driving stranger who honked, name-called, and gestured rudely simply because I parked in front of her. If Jamie had been there, I have no doubt she'd have risen to the occasion with fiery retorts. Nevertheless, I ignored the incident, paid the meter, and kept my cool.
The Fragrant Odyssey
Next on our itinerary was Scent Bar, where we explored an array of delightful fragrances. An older gentleman made a peculiar advance toward Jamie, suggesting she spray perfume on her dog. Her witty reply, "haha no, I'm not going to do that," left us amused. She later remarked that he should have paid her for the encounter – a testament to her quick wit.
I couldn't resist purchasing a perfume that my friend Danielle had gifted me a sample of for my birthday. This fragrance boasted intriguing notes, including something called "cheesecake accord," along with vanilla, strawberry, and whipped cream. Naturally, I had to own it. Jamie also took home a sample, confirming her status as a perfume aficionado who even wears scents to bed.
The Cheesecake Extravaganza
No adventure would be complete without indulging in cheesecake. Jamie, my ever-encouraging partner in all things delicious, insisted we try two slices on this trip. Her belief in my ability to conquer all 33 flavors by year's end (I'm currently at 20) was unwavering.
Our selections: Lemon Raspberry Cream and Vanilla Bean.
The Vanilla Bean, with its creamy sweetness, was a soothing palate cleanser. However, it truly shines if you're a die-hard fan of vanilla flavor.
But it was the Lemon Raspberry Cream that stole the show. With its perfect balance of tartness and sweetness, the raspberry sauce on top made it an absolute delight. Jamie's prediction that I'd love it, made weeks ago, was spot-on. It was a slice of cheesecake heaven.
For the Love of Good Boys
Our canine companions, Scoop and Taro, weren't left out of the treat extravaganza. Just take a look at Scoop eagerly standing up to get his share of whipped cream. These boys are indeed precious, and we're committed to being their best friends for life.
Cheesecake Ratings:
Lemon Raspberry Cream: 4.5 out of 5
Vanilla Bean: 2.5 out of 5
The Quest Continues
As for my ponderings on making new merchandise and my indecisiveness about acquiring a TCF employee hat on eBay, the cheesecake perfume I recently purchased seems to have satisfied my craving for cheesecake-themed accessories. For now, I'll remain in my "indecisive era" and savor the sweet memories of this unforgettable day of two bitches, two dogs, and one factory.
Conclusion
In a world filled with complexities, there's beauty in simplicity, and joy in the company of friends and four-legged companions. This day, filled with laughter, delicious cheesecake, and the unwavering support of a cherished friend, served as a reminder that life's sweetest moments are often found in the most unexpected places. So here's to Scoop, Taro, Jamie, and the many more adventures that await us on the path of friendship and culinary delights.